The people you spend time with play a huge role in your life.
They have the power to shape who you become and what you do, so
pick these people carefully.
I like the phrase “you become the average of the five people you
spend the most time with.”
It’s time to really take this to heart.
Start With Yourself
Before you can start surrounding yourself with the right people, you need to look inward.
Who do you want to become?
What characteristics do you want to emulate?
Which qualities do you want to avoid?
Take some time right now to think about how the best version of you would think and act.
Your Inner Circle
Once you know who you want to become, you need to surround yourself people who will make you better.
Think of the people you spend most time with and honestly ask yourself these questions:
“Which of these people are helping me get where I want in life, and which are holding me back?”
“Who supports my drive and goals and who pokes fun at what I am trying to do?”
“Does time with this person fill me with joy or fill me with stress?”
“Whose example inspires me to be better?”
The people you want around you will build you up and motivate you to pursue your dreams, not try to dissuade you.
After answering these questions, you should have a good idea of the people closest to you that you should spend more time with.
Winners and Mentors
Now it’s time to take your search outside of your immediate connections in order to find other people you want to build relationships with.
I suggest looking for a mix of people from both of the following categories:
Category 1: Winners – People on a similar journey as you.
These are your peers who are hard workers with aspirations of their own.
They have the same morals as you and are heading in a similar direction in life.
Like you, they haven’t made it where they want yet, but they are still striving.
We need these friends who can help hold us accountable and offer encouragement in tough times.
Category 2: Mentors – People who you aspire to be like.
These are people who are already doing what you want to do or who have knowledge in an area that you don’t.
These people are generally older, more experienced, and make for excellent mentors and/or role models.
Let’s say that you are interested in becoming a professional musician.While spending time with your other aspiring rock stars is essential to building a good band dynamic, you also need to be around people who have already accomplished what you want in order to learn from their successes and failures.
Keep in mind that you don’t need to be looking for superstars, just people who are a couple steps ahead of you.
Finding These People
Most of the time you can find people from both of the above categories simply by asking friends or relatives. Our immediate connections go farther than we think.
Describe the type of person you are looking to meet to your friends or relatives and see if anyone comes to mind.
Maybe your friend has an uncle who played guitar professionally back in the day. Tell your friend to ask for his/her uncle’s contact info and get to calling!
You would be surprised how many people you can find just through relationships you already have.
Outside of people you already know, look for groups and communities that foster the types of people you want to be around.
Anything from youth groups to networking events can get you around groups of people with similar mindsets.
The next place is potentially the most powerful way to create connections…the internet.
You can use the power of online forums, Facebook groups, and direct messages to reach people all around the world.
Recently, I grabbed a coffee with an awesome guy from the U.K. who sells products on Amazon for a living. Yes, the freakin U.K.!!
And last month, I had a call with David Anderson from Denver who started his own marketing company.
The craziest part is, I met both of these guys through online blogs.
I met my current mentors, three guys from California who started Habit Nest, by doing a search on Instagram and sending them an honest message about wanting to help with their company.
Your relationships are only limited by your imagination!
Find a couple Facebook groups relevant to what you are interested in and start providing value to the members and asking questions.
Sooner or later, you’ll start to develop relationships with other driven people just like yourself.
In a recent talk with Onnit Labs CEO Aubrey Marcus, Gary Vaynerchuk tells us to “go home, cut your loserest loser friend, and go find a winner friend.”
Unlike Gary, I’m not saying you have to stop being friends with people who don’t have the same goals as you.
What I am saying, however, is that you need to make it a priority to spend more time with people who do.
The sooner you start surrounding yourself with like-minded people, the quicker you’ll get where you want.